My stress level is through the roof. Constantly. Parenting- trying to be front & center with the girls, making them my priority- and running a business full time make a horrible combination when you have no family support. Not that I really want family support, we all know how that worked out last time we pursued living near and having a closer relationship with family.... It's so ironic, we are about to close out what we will be the biggest month in company history- in 20 years of being a company- and I can't even muster the energy to celebrate because it has been so stressful to balance it all. Unlike many of those around me, I am incapable of half-doing things. I am all in. Being all-in with this business has resulted in much higher sales and much higher stress but since I also want to pick the girls up from school, be with them as much as I can when they aren't in school, make them fresh, healthy food, keep them involved in activities, etc etc, I haven't taken much off my plate to add more on. I just have an overflowing plate. Though as a caveat, it's not "Cleveland bad." Cleveland bad is now the litmus test that I use to gauge the severity of what's going on with me. Cleveland bad is horrible, shattered, feel like going to sleep and not waking up, panic attacks, hopelessness. This has been pretty horrible but I have no had any panic attacks. I always tell the girls that they cannot rely on everyone and they should never expect other people to come through for them (sad but true and I like to tell them the truth) but they can always rely on me and Andy. We will always support them and be there for them. I will never forget that promise.
